Babies don’t develop the way you think they would.

Instead of pushing a linear line of development, they tend to peak and valley. There will be periods of great change and improvement, and then there will be long boring periods of nothingness.

I am personally thankful for the nothingness. It gives me a chance to play catch up for all the previous changes. It always seems to me that for a few months my daughter and I don’t get along very well. I don’t know how to make her happy, or even take care of her, I can’t make her laugh, she screams at me constantly. We just aren’t buds.

And then I finally get it. Something clicks and suddenly she loves to be around me, I can make her laugh so hard she pees, and taking care of her is second nature. This is generally short lived, outside of a period of a couple months when she was 6 months old and I was a god to her.

Oddly enough, none of this process happens to my wife. She flies through the changes like they weren’t even happening and my daughter just adores everything she does.

It pisses me off to be perfectly honest.

I’ve seen my wife break down one time because of our daughter. Just one time the late nights, little sleep, constant nagging and attention only got to her once. It gets to me almost every night.


Ever notice on TV most everyone is successful, but no one works that much.

There aren’t too many episodes where the lead character has to work late to get the big project done. Or a side character is explained away by having to work the afternoon shift for a few months.

I understand that the reason is that the story isn’t about them working but about them playing. We watch to distract us from our own work. So if they do show their work it is usually something exciting or dangerous or difficult to get into.

But you would think that since work creates such real family tension, in fact, the most family tension, that they could build that into more TV shows as a realistic plot device.

There also aren’t many shows where the lead characters aren’t doing so well (at least not for long), which could lead to similar plot points of stress and strain caused by money and debt.

There are plenty of movies about it. In fact, it seems the most common movie theme is Midwestern America with a family barely pulling it together. So it seems the audience is there.

Is TV just proving the point that having money, and not working for it, is more fun? Allows you to do more fun things with your friends and leads to more interesting lives? Surely writers are more in tune than this.

Why is practically no one talking about TV creating unrealistic expectations of life? And not even the obvious ones where the bad guy gets away with it or the lack of consequences for actions. But just the minutia of material telling us that in life you will be successful in practically any field, have great friends that always hang out, look great always, and never work late a day in your life.


Today I was told something I found rather profound. We are given information about life, love, relationships, people, in little spoonfuls, instead of the whole bowl at one time.

It takes a lot of time to get to know someone or something well, to know it intimately.

Most dangerous of all is how we control those spoonfuls. We manipulate what goes into them, dodging the things we don’t want them to know, showing them exactly as we pretend to be. We also force feed them this image of ourselves mainly as a form of defense. They can’t hurt me if they don’t know who I really am.

Even at its most benign, information comes to us slowly. We learn most about people through shared experiences. And the only way to share those experiences is by, well, sharing them. They don’t come quickly, and generally aren’t planned events. It is the spontaneous unexpected whims of life that really bring us close.

And despite what you try, even with your guard fully up, sometimes these acts of whimsy let someone inside your crazy world, even for a minute. Long enough to steal a piece of you and keep it for themselves forever.

Some people are experience junkies. And can’t wait to go out and experience life with anyone willing to participate. I think they enjoy the human experience, but I think they enjoy the personal experience more.

I’ve always gotten by with a small extremely close group of friends. We have served each other many spoonfuls of ourselves. And we have had many laughs and cries and freakout moments in between. Now we mostly tend to help each other out when someone is in a bind, that and talk sports. Our hangouts are always raucous and exciting. I’m glad I have been able to share so much of myself with these people.

One spoonful at a time.