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Both of my grandfathers were dead before I was born. My parents divorced when I was 5. My mom died when I was 19.

Yet there always seemed to be an answer before I even knew something went wrong.

I have a set of grandparents that are not related to me in the slightest. They were simply church friends of my parents that happen to be grandparenting age when I came along and somehow I was absorbed into this world of one grandfather, and three grandmothers. I never thought about the math until I was much too old to be proud of. I have no idea why these people are in my life, played such a crucial role in my life, or continue to be a large part of my life, but there it is. I’m just lucky I suppose.

My sister and I and my father moved in with my grandmother after my parent’s divorce. I don’t know the specifics of how this happened, but all I know is that it was right before Christmas. My parent’s divorce was difficult and I’m not sure how I would’ve gotten through it without the calm and steadying force of my grandmother. She was always there when I needed her to be. It was like having a mom around, but a mom that actually is your grandmother is a child’s dream, right? I’m just lucky I suppose.

My stepmom and I got off to a rocky start. I was a big time momma’s boy growing up, and the idea of someone replacing her infuriated me to no end. By the time I was driving things were better between us but not complete. But I can remember a distinct change in our relationship right around the time my sister moved out of the house. We went on to develop a relationship that today I would say is extremely strong, and I like to think it gained a lot of weight in the death of my mother. Diane really stepped up for my sister and I then and showed support and love that I am not sure she had shown to us previously. Perfect timing. I’m just lucky I suppose.

I have the worst mental health year of my life during my first year of marriage. Most women would’ve fled the situation as quickly as I fell apart. But I married the perfect woman who stood by me even stronger when I needed it most.

I’m just lucky I suppose.

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Some days at work I really miss my daughter.

It actually makes it hard to concentrate. I look at her pictures on my phone and count-down the clock until I get to see her.

Those are the days that the daily tasks of having a child don’t seem so bad. You want me to get on all fours and chase you for an hour? Awesome! You want me to build towers with your blocks so you can smash them dozens of times? Absolutely! You want me to cut up all of your food into little pieces and make sure it is warm enough but not too hot and clean up your face, and the ground, and your high-chair once you are done eating? Sure thing. You want me to listen to you bang around the pots and pans while I do dishes? You want me to change your diaper? You want me to read the same book to you ten times? Will do.

You want me to have to lay you down in your crib after you fall asleep? I guess so.

You want me to watch while you play with mommy instead? If you’re sure that’s what you want.

You want me to stand by while mommy breastfeeds you to sleep and I only get to kiss your head goodnight? I guess daddy can do that for you too.

You never know what you are going to get with a child. Some nights she is mommy’s girl, other nights she will let me make her laugh, some nights she is all mine.

I always hope that the days I’m especially missing her, she is at the babysitter especially missing me.

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I love Science Fiction, both as a literary and film genre.

I read A Journey to the Center of the Earth as a kid and I was hooked.

Jules Verne, HG Wells, Arthur C Clarke, Robert Heinlein, Philip K Dick, Kurt Vonnegut, Isaac Asimov are all heroes of mine. I’ve read almost the complete major works of all of these authors and I can tell you my favorites: Childhood’s End, Around the World in 80 Days, Man in the High Castle, The God’s Themselves, Ender’s Game, A Scanner Darkly.

In terms of movies my favorite Sci-fi are the giants: “Alien”, “Star Wars Trilogy”, “Bladerunner”, “Terminator”, “District 9”, and others.

Science fiction always appealed to me because it provided me with a world in which I wanted to live, even if most I listed were dystopian. A world with alien life, super weapons, robots, space, a chance at a greater set of knowledge than humans could’ve achieved on their own; and usually the story of a singular person who defeats the odds because of his intellect, which is the currency of the future.

It also took me places that scared me. The misuse of technology is rampant in the genre, dystopian governments and Big Brother, robots turning against us, manipulation of the masses by the few.

But they always leave you guessing, at least a little bit, about what it means to be a human, how to function in society, and how little thoughts can become big ambitions.

I think that is why they translate so well to film. The ideas are overt and easy to read, the action scenes are plentiful, and they always rely on the hero archetype.

Sometimes I think of my own life as if I’m living out a sci-fi novel. I like to read the cheapo science and engineering journals. I tend to hit up the technology section of the New York Times. And I like to imagine what my life will be like once these burgeoning technologies become ubiquitous, both good and bad.

I wish I was visionary enough to be inspired to make millions off of how these technologies can be made into useful products, but I’m not that bright. I just wait for the story to play out in my own life.

Why jump to the ending, the ride is the best part.

 

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