Bipolar Thoughts

Most of the time I feel like I don’t actually have any mental health issues and I have been fooling my doctors and therapists for years.

It could happen. I know enough about the diseases from which I suffer that I could fake all the symptoms, say the right things and get the diagnosis I want. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember if I really felt a certain way or if I read it in a book somewhere. It is hard to guess if I feel how I do because I’m supposed to or because I really do.


I turn 30 today and the last couple weeks have not been a good experience for me thus far.

30 seems old. Much older than me. How could I possibly be that old?

I think I have posted in this space before that I feel like I’m still in high school, maybe 20 years old. That is a long way from 30. The funny thing is that I never felt I was younger than I was until I was probably 24. When I was in college I didn’t feel like I was still in high school. When I was in high school I was never shocked by what year I was in.