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So, for the first time since I was a little kid, I have made friends with my neighbors.

Maybe a couple weeks ago Sam and I took Jocelyn on a walk and we happened to turn right at the foot of our driveway and walk towards Mack (normally we walk the other direction and go deeper into our neighborhood). As we got closer to the end of our street we noticed a gathering of very little kids, all younger than 3, playing in a front yard, with the parents standing by chatting.

As we walked past the yard the adults said hello and one of them said “Hey, I’m your neighbor”. I looked up and indeed it was the guy who lived almost directly across the street. We had met a few times, especially at Halloween. He has a son that is probably three and is very cute. Apparently he is also obsessed with my car and tells his father whenever my car gets home or leaves.

So we stopped and chatted and were introduced to the other parents standing there and all the kids. Everyone seemed nice and we all got along.

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I like me now more than I have ever liked me in the past, except maybe when I was in late high school.

I felt like I was very cool when I was in late high school. In a popular band, had a great girlfriend, had a good job, looked pretty good, and the world in front of me. My friends were the best, and my closest group of friends then is still my closest group of friends now, but we are even better friends now.

But me now, aside from not playing music much anymore, working out of my field I studied in, being really over weight, and a good chunk of my life behind me, is pretty awesome.

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One thing I have been able to do quite a bit with my wife’s family since we have been together is go camping. It is something I never did much in my life before I met her, but something I have grown to enjoy immensely.

Her parents have a motor home which works out great for providing some privacy, storing all the good food, and shelter in case of shitty weather. My wife, daughter and I sleep in our tent which is awesome. Jocelyn last summer was a very good camper, we took her out three times I think. One of those times she even had a broken collarbone that we didn’t know about, but she barely complained. She slept through the loud bonfires and music and singing, she played on the beach and in the water, it was a real joy having her with us. Hopefully this year is the same.

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I’ve been with my wife for almost eight years, not as my wife, that has only been two and a half years, you get it. And her older sister (who is my age) has been with her husband for a similar amount of time. And ever since the four of us have been together, we have been very good friends.

Out of all of Sam’s sisters, I have spent the most time with the oldest. I am the closest with her because of this and our age, and probably other reasons I haven’t thought of. Her husband has grown into one of my very best friends. For a long time the four of us would hang out every weekend, hosting dinner parties, playing games, watching movies, and having good times.

Her husband has a large but extremely close group of friends. And basically from the very beginning I have been invited to hang out with this group of people. I have attended house parties, holiday get togethers, barbeques, days at the park, and even a few weddings.

Bipolar Thoughts

It has been two and a half weeks since my first treatment and I finally feel back to normal.

My head feels like it is screwed on properly, my memory is more intact, I feel well rested in spite of my sleep pattern, I’m eating way less since being off a pill known for driving up your weight, I’m getting along with my daughter, and everything just feels good.

I say despite my sleep because I am having a hard time sleeping lately. Rough falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night for hours, and waking before my alarm clock most every morning. I feel rested and not tired at all, but this will catch up with me.

I wish I could explain how weird I felt from my ECT until just a couple days ago. Just kinda in a daze and hard to put things together or figure things out. I had a very difficult time problem solving for a long time. That is all back to normal now, or at least very close.

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Bipolar ThoughtsBlog

Well, it has been a long couple of weeks.

I am happy to report that I am back at work during the day and feeling really good. I feel more than slightly odd though. I don’t really know how to describe it but I just feel differently about myself than I did before I had the ECT treatment.

Well here is the whole story, at least all that I can remember:

I attempted suicide, made an appointment with my psychiatrist, he wanted me to go do ECT through a colleague of his. I made an appointment with him a couple days later and he wanted me to do ECT but said I needed to go inpatient for a week before he would do the ECT. I went inpatient at Royal Oak Beaumont.

A couple things about the facility there: it was really nice and clean and I enjoyed my time there. Almost everyone had been to other hospitals and preferred Beaumont (same is true in my experience). There were a lot of people there with a lot of different ailments. A good number of the people there were there for eating disorders and it was difficult for me to be around that. I have practically no experience with that world and there it was right in front of me and I felt terrible for these girls.

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