Bipolar Thoughts

So I started having suicidal thoughts starting last Saturday, and today I started having anxiety on my way to work, which is something I was constantly pestered by before my procedure.

I’m not sure what any of it means, but it is concerning to me.

I’ve stated a bunch of times that the ECT worked wonders for me. I am so happy that I did it.

But it has only been a month, and I went through a lot. If I am only going to get a month out of it, then it isn’t worth it. Now, the thoughts have not been serious and just fleeting at best. But the anxiety was pretty serious. I’m no longer being prescribed anxiety medication, so I don’t really know what to do about it. I guess I just have to deal with it and hope that it doesn’t get worse.

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I’m not sure if this is a normal thing or not, I know it is a Bipolar thing, but I imagine it is pretty normal as well.

Ever just completely lose interest in something that at one point defined you? And I don’t mean something small, like I used wear this shirt and I haven’t had it on since high school.

I’m sure most people go in cycles. Boy, I haven’t turned on the radio in three months, let’s check it out. But I’m talking about done forever, or at least a very long time.

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