This is my 100th blog. Now, I have made more than 100 postings but if you take out the announcements and podcast information, this marks my 100th blog.

Part of me can’t believe I made it this far, that I stuck with it this long, and that people have continued to read it this long.

I want to say thank you for everyone who has supported me in this endeavor. I want to say thank you to everyone who has challenged me, doubted me, or hated on me in any way. It all made me better. And while I still have a long way to go to make this thing readable, I feel like I am well on my way.

Some of you have read all 100 posts, and more, some of you have listened to all the podcasts too.

I thank you for your time, and your dedication.

For the next 100 posts, please comment more, share more, and give more feedback. I love it all.


I have never really been good at a job I’ve held.

I take that back, two jobs I had, I was good. I was good at Kmart, and I was good at the hospital. But those jobs also allowed for a lot of goofing off and horseplay.

Any real job I’ve had, whether it be painting houses, working in architecture, or my current job selling robotics supplies, I’ve just never been good at. No one in those jobs ever looked at me and thought I was one of the better employees.


The day I found out my mother had died was nothing at all like I imagined it would be.

This is what happened: My dad called my sister and I into the living room (I cannot remember if my sister still lived at home or not, and I don’t remember what I was doing before that because it was around dinner time that this happened) and he and my stepmom were both there and he told us that he had spoken to my mother’s boyfriend, or whatever the hell he was, and she had passed over night.

My sister immediately started crying and I believe my stepmother went over and consoled her. I, on the other hand, didn’t really offer up much emotion about the situation. I have no idea why not, I guess it didn’t really hit me.

We talked about it for a few minutes and then I told my parents I was off to band practice, which was scheduled and I never missed.

Bipolar Thoughts

As you might imagine I am a pretty nervous guy. I guess that is par for the course when you suffer from anxiety, so it doesn’t really surprise me either.

What does surprise me are the types of things that make me nervous.

I think I get nerves from some fairly normal things that most people get nervous about. Things like travel, especially by plane, big deadlines or due dates, whether they are personal or professional, starting new things, things like that I think are fairly reasonable and they don’t bother me when my palms get sweaty and my heart rate increases and I can’t sleep.