Detroit Tigers

Well, the All-Star Game is on Tuesday July 14th. And they yet again allowed voters to vote in the starters, and they yet again will be playing to determine home field advantage in the World Series. For the record, both of those are terrible decisions.

They did, however, dramatically alter the home run derby this year and I am excited that it will be much shorter. I don’t like that they are implementing a clock though. Baseball is a game without a clock. Couldn’t they think of some way to keep a clock out of it? I have a great idea! You get three swings. Each homer you hit gives you an extra swing. Done. Short and sweet. No clocks! But I do like the bracket system over the previous version and I am excited to see it. It is the best all star game skills competition by far.

I did exercise my right to vote, and I voted at a time when 8 of the starting All-Star positions were occupied by Kansas City Royals players. That was a joke. I try to vote honestly, and I am probably too hard on Tigers players as some form of reverse homerism. I did not vote for a single Royals player. Not because I was revolting against the current situation, but because I didn’t think they deserved it.

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Blog

One thing that becoming a parent has really changed in my life is that it forced me to think about my long term future. Where am I gonna be in 18 years?

The question that always bothers me is this: what kind of person am I going to be for my daughter?

It is hard to project out your personality. But it is even more difficult because of a standard “truism” people love to drop: you turn into your parents as you age.

If this is true, then which parent? My parents were wildly different people, especially as I became an adult. I don’t particularly feel like either of my parents. I share some sensibilities with my father; I share a mental composition with my mother, but nothing really day to day. I don’t really do something and feel like that was either parent coming out of me.

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Bipolar Thoughts

Well, the slight downturn I told you about a few weeks ago is still turning down. The suicidal thoughts have not gone away, and have actually gotten worse.

I’m really focused on my weight and body image right now, and that is really making me think about suicide.

It seems irrational, obviously, suicide isn’t a rational response. But my line of thinking has been somewhat near the following:

You’re fat and ugly. You could go to the gym and put in the hundreds of hours required to lose the weight but you will just gain it back once you stop working so hard. You aren’t good enough to stay committed for life. So why bother? Even if you weren’t fat, people wouldn’t like you anyway. People find you annoying, a know-it-all, and a prick. Those are the personality versions of being fat. At least most fat people are likeable. There is nothing you could ever do to improve upon these facts.

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