Bipolar Thoughts

I have been in a slight upswing for a couple of weeks now and there is really nothing I can do about it.

The most interesting thing since I have had my ECT is not that I have not yet been down (although that is impressive), it is that I have been so up. This is now the second distinct time that I have been in an elevated mood. I have never once gone back to back up cycles. Now, neither has been manic. Both have been hypomanic but they have both been very prolonged.

It is a new experience in more than one way, first, just the back to back thing, but also because my manic cycles are usually very short. A full manic cycle for me, of which I have only had maybe four in my life, will last two to three weeks. A hypomanic cycle, of which I have had dozens and dozens, can be shorter, like from four days to two weeks. So experiencing this much elevation in mood is bizarre and becoming difficult to deal with.

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I find it really interesting to think about the ways I interact with different groups of people.

For the most part, I’m the same guy everywhere. People expect me to be funny, people expect me to be interested in a good conversation, people expect me to be easy going.

And I am all of those things. Those things are the easiest parts of my character to manufacture on command, so I generally know I can always be those things.

But with my family I am more reserved, especially with jokes. I don’t have conversations about some of the biggest things in my life. I do what I can to maintain neutrality on most things. I am generally focused on not upsetting anyone. I think that when I am with my family (and by this I mean my family and my wife’s family) I am more aware of my thoughts and actions. And I am particularly careful about what I say.

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Well, I just had a post reach the 1000 reads plateau. Pretty cool.

I am not really sure how it has happened but I have about a dozen posts that are deep into the several hundred reads. While the majority of my posts seem to top out around 150 reads, and some are as low as 40. In fact, some of my favorites are stuck under 50.

My opening day Detroit Tigers post is the only one that makes sense because it got linked to by a sports blog site and so that one got up over 700 views in a hurry.

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Bipolar Thoughts

I think I might have mentioned this in passing before, probably on my first post about ECT, but I have an abnormally high tolerance to medication.

The story starts a couple years ago when I began seeing my current psychiatrist. Before he started me on any drug therapy he wanted to run a genetic and DNA (I guess that is probably the same thing, eh? He also ran a full lipid panel) test so he could narrow down exactly what class of drugs would likely have the best results.

I went to the hospital the next day and got blood drawn and mouth swabbed and waited two weeks for the results. My shrink didn’t really go over the full extent of the test except to say that Lithium would not cause any of the side-effects it can sometimes take on regarding salt and iron and whatever else in the blood stream. He also told me that I would probably require high dosages of either anti-psychotics or SSRIs.

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