Blog

While I really enjoyed the way my website has looked for a long time now, it has become apparent that my needs are growing and that I am getting a lot of specific traffic. I get a lot of traffic driven to this site from the mental health collaborative sites I am a part of and they don’t want to read about baseball. And I get a lot of traffic from podcast network and they don’t want to read about anything! So the new look puts a big menu right up top for easy navigation to what you are looking for!

If you still want to follow everything I am doing, simply click the “Home” button, that will take you to the main page.

Thank you for continuing support as I stretch out into more and more things here at my website and blog.

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Bipolar Thoughts

For a long time after I was first diagnosed, I thought it would be better to go it alone.

My parents never mentioned it to me, or my sister, or the handful of friends who knew about it. So, as long as I didn’t bring it up to anyone new, it would be pretty easy to do it alone.

From the time I was 17 until I was 22 I was completely silent about anything that had happened in my past, the suicide attempt, the hospitalization, the diagnosis. Only for a brief period in there was I medicated. And for the most part I was in remission. I would have depressive flare-ups every so often, but the amount of work I was doing for school, plus working, plus living in an apartment, plus trying to have a social life, everything just kind of stayed at bay.

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Bipolar Thoughts

There are three major lifestyle things that psychiatrists and therapists harp on when it comes to bipolar, depression, and anxiety. Those three things are sleep, exercise, and diet.

There is very little evidence that any of those things can pull you out of a cycle, and the point is moot anyways, as anyone who has ever been depressed can tell you, you can’t control your sleep, you don’t care about your diet if you are even eating, and there is no way you can possibly put in an effective workout.

But that isn’t the point. These three things are viewed as a prophylactic measure that you can employ when you are feeling good to keep you feeling good.

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Blog

I have made a few updates to the site.

First, I have added a “like” button to each post, so you can show your support for a posting that you particularly like without having to leave a comment. And don’t worry, I won’t take a like on a post about suicide as if you like I want to die, but that you enjoyed the article, even if it was negative.

I have also added a feature at the end of each article that will populate up to four associated essays, and will give a score out of 10 as to how related the content is. If you really enjoyed reading about something, I probably talked about it somewhere else. This is help you keep reading.

I have added an email signup at the bottom of the page, near my personal information and a few website links. I have no idea if this is working yet, but you can go ahead and signup!

Finally, I have brought back the adds. They will populate soon. For those of you who only view this on mobile devices, the adds were always there, but they have been off the main site for several months. My traffic is now beginning to demand revenue.

I have also updated some analytics and some other things behind the scenes to help me bring a better website experience to you.

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Bipolar Thoughts

I have chronic sleep paralysis.

I have talked about it on here before, but nothing really any detail that I recall, so here it is again.

I take a sleeping pill to help me sleep, sure, but mostly as a way to stop the sleep paralysis. And it works! At my most anxious times (anxiety played a huge role in when I would get this), especially if I was travelling for work, and extra especially if I had to wake up early for a very important meeting, I was likely to be visited by specters and paralyzed with fear no less than five times in a single night.

Bipolar Thoughts

When I first got the diagnosis of Bipolar, I felt two things.

First, I was scared. I watched my mother suffer through the same thing for a long time and the disease scared the shit out of me. I did not want to go through that, and I did not know there were other options.

Second, I felt validated. It felt very comforting to have a doctor look at you and tell you that all of the suffering and pain was, at least in part, due to a disease. Everything I went through was real, I didn’t make it all up. Everything I went through was diagnosable.

Bipolar Thoughts

I get the impression that a few people in my life, very few, have changed their disposition towards me since I have gone public with my disorder and created this blog.

I don’t know this, and most people have been supportive, I’m not trying to complain, it is just a suspicion and an observation.

And I believe that in at least one instance of this, it has lead this person to not ask my wife and I to watch their kids. And these people are extremely nice to me and friendly and invite me to do everything like they always have. They do not treat me any differently at all, I want to emphasize that. But they have never asked us to watch their kids and I have to wonder why. Their kids like us, it would be convenient, we are good parents.

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Pretending to Amuse

We discuss the show turning 30! Jason makes an apt comparison to Krusty the Clown all while sharing why he is disgusted by children’s hands. Nickelodeon is bringing back our childhood favorites and we list off what else we want to see brought back. Andrew tells us that his woman wants him to ‘take care of business’ while he is drunk, while Jason’s wife just eggs him into stupid stuff. Jason raises a quick question about strip club ethics and Andrew recalls a Renfest story for all the stoners out there.

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Bipolar Thoughts

Okay, so I subject that I have yet to get to that is a big topic of discussion in the bipolar world is the idea of sexuality, either hyper or hypo. It is maybe the second most common question asked by a doctor during a cycle. It is maybe the most frustrating part of cycling, and it can be one of the most impactful on your relationships.

Fair warning, I’m going to talk about my sex life. If you don’t want to read about this, stop here. No good will come from you going forward. I will not field questions of comments about your opinions of my sex life, I do not care what you have to say. You have been warned.

First, the basic stuff: bipolars tend to get hypersexual during mania and hypo-sexual during depression. Both of those things tend to be some of the earliest and most clearly defined symptoms of a cycle. This is why I say it is not only a common question from doctors, but one of the very most common questions.

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