Bipolar Thoughts

I have had a hard time staying on top of my medications lately.

And that is to say, I have not been taking them, on purpose.

I want to be off of them. I don’t think I need them. And if I do need them I would rather die anyway. Who wants to be tied to a couple of tiny pills for decades on end?

I am not convinced they work, which was the subject of my blog entitled “Does This Work?”. It is possible that the Lithium has leveled out my mood, maybe it stabilized my life in ways I will never know. But I have still had ups and downs, more than I ever had before my breakdown a few years ago. So what does that mean? If I am not back at that level, then what am I striving for?