From as early as I can remember I wanted a beard.

I wear one now and have pretty consistently for a couple years, pretty much since the day I got married. I’ve only been able to grow one for maybe two years before that, it took forever for my right cheek to fill in.

Before my beard I wore a goatee since I could start growing one, maybe even before I should’ve really worn one, between the ages of 15 and 16. People always thoughts it looked cool. I always felt cool with it, and now I refuse to be without it.

I have kind of a baby face and a round fat head. I feel like a beard helps to define my face and makes me look skinnier. I have no idea if that is true or not but that is what I tell myself. My wife doesn’t let me shave to nothing either, so I have someone backing me up.

The only real problem I have is that I’m balding. At an alarming rate. Every male on my mom’s side of the family is bald and my dad is baldish as well. The lithium I take induces baldness too, and I can’t tell if it is just my age or my pills but my scalp is racing to the forefront.

It is inevitable that one day I will be completely horse-shoed. I hate that look. I figure I would almost rather go full on Mr. Clean, but I have no idea what my head looks like. Plus I get psoriasis up there and it could be a disaster. I figure I’ll probably just keep the sides and back extremely short and keep my beard a little longer and I’ll look fine but boy am I hoping on a long shot.

One of my close friends a few years ago feared he was losing some real-estate on top and started Rogaine. He claimed at the time that it was working but I have no idea if he is still doing it. It is something I have considered but it is expensive.

When I was a kid my hair stylist would always mention how thick my hair was. I was always able to do what I wanted with it and it looked pretty good. I wish that was still the case now. I wear it longer than I ever have and try to push it over to cover up some of the weaker spots, but it doesn’t look that good and it is a lot of work, something I’ve never really dealt with before.

How many years I have left with my hair is anyone’s guess but I am really going to miss it when it is gone. Hopefully I won’t look as bad as I think I will look, but that is really out of my hands at this point. Bald is the new black, didn’t you hear?