Bipolar ThoughtsObsessionsPersonal History

Invisible Barrier

I’m approaching 30 years old.

For whatever reason this has been a major deal to me for the last several years. I have been trying to stop time so I can wade in my 20’s forever.

I think it is the end of an era for me. My 20’s were awesome. I had a lot of fun. I attended college and had more fun learning more things than I ever dreamed. I was in the best band I was ever in, even though it was short lived. I had the most fulfilling job of my life. I closed down a lot of bars, had a lot of laughs, and danced my ass off. Not to mention I met my wife and got married. A lot of my friends got married. I love weddings!

I had my downs as well. I had a major bipolar episodes when I was 22 and again at 28, which I’m still recovering from.

One difficult thing for me is that I remember how close my friends and I were when we were 19, and how much we’ve drifted over the past decade. What will the next decade bring? Balancing family and friends is hard, and it takes concerted effort to make it work.

Another difficulty of mine is something that will be explored more deeply in another blog post, is the idea of a lack of success on my part. I thought I would be running the world by now. Every teacher I ever had told me I was built for something special, but it turns out I was standard protocol.