Bipolar Thoughts

Lion and Lamb

I think one of the only things I retained from third grade was that March was known as the “Lion and the Lamb” month. So given its name because it either enters like a lion or a lamb and exits as the opposite.

I don’t know if it is known as this in other parts of the country, but here in Michigan it is generally true. It usually enters like a lion, like this year. Frigid temperatures, snow and ice storms, wintry mix falling out of the sky. And it leaves like a lamb, temps in the 50s, snow melting or gone, no storms on the horizon. Sometimes it’s different. Sometimes it can be bright and sunny and not windy which makes the cold not so bad to start the month, and we end it with tons of rain or perpetual cold weather.

It reminds me of my mind, especially this time of year. Sometimes it is a lion, flooding my brain with suicidal thoughts, crippling my ability to get things done or even get out of bed for entire days at a time. Sometimes the lion races through my thoughts, making it impossible to focus.

And yet sometimes my brain is the lamb. Letting me get good sleep, think happy thoughts, and be productive in life.

I wish my brain worked like March. I knew both were coming and once I got past one I could brace for the other. But it doesn’t. My brain’s calendar is scattered and confused. And while there may be a pattern to its activity I have yet to unlock it.