Look at the Baby

Babies don’t develop the way you think they would.

Instead of pushing a linear line of development, they tend to peak and valley. There will be periods of great change and improvement, and then there will be long boring periods of nothingness.

I am personally thankful for the nothingness. It gives me a chance to play catch up for all the previous changes. It always seems to me that for a few months my daughter and I don’t get along very well. I don’t know how to make her happy, or even take care of her, I can’t make her laugh, she screams at me constantly. We just aren’t buds.

And then I finally get it. Something clicks and suddenly she loves to be around me, I can make her laugh so hard she pees, and taking care of her is second nature. This is generally short lived, outside of a period of a couple months when she was 6 months old and I was a god to her.

Oddly enough, none of this process happens to my wife. She flies through the changes like they weren’t even happening and my daughter just adores everything she does.

It pisses me off to be perfectly honest.

I’ve seen my wife break down one time because of our daughter. Just one time the late nights, little sleep, constant nagging and attention only got to her once. It gets to me almost every night.