Bipolar Thoughts

Moodswings

My mood has suddenly changed.

Just yesterday I had a lot of energy and worked a lot on the website. I am currently changing over servers from WordPress.com to Bluehost while still hosting WordPress. I will be able to do a lot more on this site and it will work well for our podcast that we will launch soon.

It has been a tedious process to say the least. And very frustrating. But I think I finally got it figured out and in a couple weeks I will move my site over to Bluehost and everything will be cool from there on out.

But the frustration has been unbearable at times. Klonopin has been my best friend and so has been being away from my immediate family.

And while this has been the biggest trigger for me but there have been signs this was coming. I always cycle down after being manic, which I was for a couple weeks. I have also been scared at the prospect of starting the podcast. I have been wracking my brain for ideas to try and make it fun and interesting, instead of boring and something more than just my friends will listen to, or at least feign too.

I feel like this blog was a bad idea. My parents have failed to mention it to me, whether they read it or not. This bothers me to no end.

I have gotten a lot of positive feedback over this blog, mostly from friends but also some search engines and the bipolar community on WordPress. It has been great so far.

I’m thinking of going to a daily blog format instead of three days a week, just toying with the idea. The most important thing to me is content. I want to maintain a high level, for me, quality of writing and content.

Hopefully you find this blog inspirational, fun, and an outlet to whatever emotions are eating at you.

One comment

  • I’ve spent a little under two hours reading…and re-reading…all of your writings. I’ve come to the following conclusions/comments….

    1) You’re wrong.

    This blog is a most excellent idea. It is a great coping strategy and an excellent way to shed some light on bipolar disorder and those who live with it everyday. I hope it helps someone going through similar struggles.

    2) I appreciate the fact that you write with honesty and openness…

    …even if I don’t ‘like’ or fully ‘understand’ what I have just read.

    Before reading your blog, I considered myself to be close to you. I thought I was ‘one of the people that “gets you the most” ‘, but after reading, I realized that there is so much I didn’t know, or realize, or understand! But I guess that’s true with everyone, right?? With this blog, you chose to shine the smallest slice of light on your innermost self to anyone who reads.. and it is scary to “us” (those who don’t understand) to read and try to comprehend all of these writings. I just hope that your raw honesty does not push too many buttons–well, I KNOW it will–but that people can understand why it is that you are doing this.
    You’re doing this for YOU.
    You’re doing this for bipolar awareness….
    but mostly, this is for YOU.

    3) I still don’t care about who plays for the Tigers or about baseball stats. And I never will. Ever. 🙂 I just like the game!

    4) I will need to keep a dictionary close by when reading this… I already had to look up 4 or 5 words I didn’t know. Damn.

    5) I love you! …and my door is still wide open , as always 🙂

    ~”other” Wife

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