Bipolar Thoughts

Oh The Memories

I don’t get a lot of side effects from my medication.

Weight gain is quick, much faster than when I am not on medication, but it is controllable if I ate a better diet.

There are some libido issues that I feel adversely affect my marriage at times, but my wife understands.

Sometimes I find it hard to use the bathroom. But it doesn’t last more than a couple days.

My already dry psoriatic skin can flare up, and is particularly bad right now.

A couple years ago when I started the meds I am on now I would get shakes and tremors and had sloppy hand-eye coordination. Ask my brother in law who had to deal with me throwing Frisbees sideways for about two months.

But my doctor has worked really hard and has a great understanding of the medications and has eliminated or at least made everything manageable.

There is really only one side effect that really bothers me, even though it doesn’t make much of a difference in my daily life, and that is decreased memory. Lithium is known to decrease memory, and add mental fuzziness. It has this effect on me.

I used to have a great memory and now it is below average. It isn’t terrible but it is more than noticeable. I often tell my boss that I can’t remember the answers to his questions. I have to write everything down now or keep an email record of it.

I dunno what I would do if I was still in school. The ability to pull a reference is crucial in design school, especially when you are studying history and theory like I was.

Sometimes I am perfectly clear and have no issues at all. Some days I can’t recall anything to save my soul. I’m not sure how that works but it makes me feel like an old man at times.

I posted awhile ago about wanting to remember everything about my daughter. This is the reason I am so worried about it. I have no idea what long term effects this will have on my memory, but I know what it is doing now and it doesn’t feel good.

I just want to be able to remember most everything like I used to but I doubt I will ever get back to that point. For now, I guess, I just have to make the best of it. Even if I won’t remember how it went by.