Bipolar ThoughtsMedication

The Haircut

I have eczema. I have had it ever since I can remember. I had always had a plethora of creams and shampoos around my house. I use soaps and detergents made for sensitive skin and all that jazz.

I could do more. For instance, my deodorant is known to be very harsh on skin and I have an almost constant spot of very itchy and painful eczema in both of my armpits. Why do I do this? Well, I have an obsession with how I smell. I need to smell good, or at least not bad. I also sweat a lot, and the deodorant I use works very well in this regard. So I deal with it.

The worse part for me is my scalp. It isn’t how you might think, it is actually the least itchy, the least painful, the most easy to forget I have. But it is also the most embarrassing.

I am constantly fighting dandruff. I am constantly pulling little scales off the back of my neck (above my hairline). I always have to be cognizant of what I need to do and when and what I am wearing.

For instance: haircuts.

I avoid getting haircuts when I am particularly scabbed up. I have simply had to get one a few times and apologized to the person beforehand. And only one time did anyone ever respond that they could even notice. But still, I notice. It bothers me to no end.

So if you ever see me with shaggy hair, just know I probably have a pretty itchy scalp at the moment.

The reason I am writing this is two-fold: first, I am current in need of and avoiding a haircut due to some particularly bad eczema.

Second, eczema is a common side-effect to taking several medications including several major mental health pharmaceuticals, including Lithium, which I take.

When I started to take lithium, my skin went completely haywire. It took a very long time to get it under control and flare ups happened all the time. This is simply part of the deal with taking lithium.

It did affect me in one awful way that I had never dealt with before. I started to get bad eczema behind my ears. This goes a long way into my haircut problem as well. Glasses tend to make this worse. And I have to keep my nails very short or I will wake up scratching my ears off and blood will be everywhere.

So currently, the back of my right ear is bloody and raw. I just picked a rather large scale off the back of my neck, right where my neck and head meet, and I have been wiping dandruff all day long off my shoulders and chest.

Looks like I won’t be making my haircut appointment tonight.